Shownotes Episode 001:
Welcome here to the first and official TinderMentor podcast. In this episode we’re gonna start with the biggest mistakes guys are making on Tinder, and providing tips on how to avoid making them yourself. We probably had it all. All of us made them – probably you, too. For Florian, for example, his first period on Tinder was one big mistake.
We’re gonna be focusing on the mistakes you can make in the events leading up to the tinderdate. You can fuck many things up on the first date as well so for the date itself, we’re gonna have another separate episode.
Coming In With Wrong Expectations
Most people come in simply with the wrong expectations. Many girls will come in thinking to find the next boyfriend, the next husband, whatever while as many guys just come in thinking that thats an app for free pussy, thinking that girls are just waiting for you, wanting to have your D. So the thing here is, and that’s crucial, there are many girls that want just tindersex, but not all of them. So what you should do coming in is – either come in with an expectation but then you’ll have to screen and adjust your strategy accordingly so you’ll only meet up with the ones that, for example, want to meet up the same night and just want to have sex.
Or, and that’s what we recommend to everybody and you’ll be able to use Tinder to it’s full potential – you come in open mindedly. So what Tinder really does, it let’s you meet people easily. It doesn’t tell you you have to marry everybody, it doesn’t tell you have to have sex – it doesn’t even tell you you have to go on dates with them. Don’t have an expectation and just see where it goes. So if you want to achieve something special, act accordingly. That’s very important.
Not Taking Tinder Seriously
Some of you just download Tinder and kind of see where it goes. While it might sound not too bad at first it is a mindset you should really get rid of if you want to become really good at Tinder. If you don’t put the effort in it, like creating a thoughtful profile, go for a photoshooting, think about your tinder bio and craft your personal tinder opening lines you will not get far.
Girls are very sensitive if you do very subtle things, be it something in the way you dress or personality wise. They will recognize these things through your online profile. So if your profile only consists of random pictures you got from your Facebook profile, or having a standard bio like everyone else does (no seriously, you like traveling?), you’re not be successful in your quest to find the most attractive girls.
Same goes for the way you text, everything has to be congruent, everything has to be in line with your personality and the whole picture of the way you portray yourself through your tinder profile. There’s a thin line between showing that you made an effort but also without taking it too seriously is very hard. However, if you can nail this down things will start to explode really quickly. We’re gonna talk more extensively about profile related things and how to achieve walking that „thin line“ in upcoming episodes.
Being Way To Try Hard
When trying to show personality in your profile, we see a lot of guys being way to try hard about it. You can really see that they need the girls because they don’t have any in real life. And like we said before, girls are very social creatures. 100 times more than men, they will notice every subtle social clue. So what you want to do is not to act like you’re cool, but be a cool guy and just display it correctly, but at the same time you shouldn’t be try hard about it.
Putting Up Random Pictures
Like we said before, if your profile only consists of random pictures you got from your facebook profile you’re not gonna get far. It was the same with my profile when I started out. I would just take random pictures from my Facebook and kind of hoped for the best. Here we talk which pictures to avoid at all costs
If you want to see how we do a tinder photoshooting, see here.
Writing ‚Hey How Are You?‚
Even if you have a good profile, texting her ‚Hey‘ will still kill almost all of your action. It’s the same concept as with the profile, it just shows that you don’t make an effort and even worse. 90% of the guys write the same, so you’re not standing out at all. You might think now: „This is a tip you can read everywhere“ and you’re right. But the majority of the guys still write it. Stand out with our profile, stand out with our opener and eventually stand out on the date.
You can kind of see it like a filter. First you’ve got to have good pictures, have a good profile. Then you need to get her to answer by standing out with your opener. Then you need to be interesting enough in the texting phase and then be the same cool guy when you meet up. Your tinder opener is absolutely crucial.
Standing Out Too Much
Most guys want to stand out too much. They just want to get any response, because they’re used to not getting any responses at all after writing Hey how are you. Some write something funny, some guys write something offensive or cocky and while these kinds of openers kind of have an okayish response rate, just ask yourself. Where do you want to go from there? How do you want to convert this into a date? A girl friend of mine once got the message: If you were a haunted house, I would cry if I came inside you. And while this is kind of funny, but what do you want to text her after that?
Here we talk about the most successful tinder opening lines, and give you our formula to craft your own personal tinder opener.
Asking For The Number/Date Too Early/ Too Late
A lot of guys match with girls just go in for the number or the date too early. They think „Well, she thinks I’m attractive and therefore we should go on a date right away. Why whouldn’t she?“ What most guys forget is that girls need a lot of comfort in order to meet up with you. (Just think about it. You’re a total stranger form the internet). This is not a thing that’s set in stone though. You can do it, and we do it a lot, but only because we can read the signs she gives away.
Also, some guys don’t go for the number/date at all. They’ll just become texting buddies and eventually the girl will lose interest. And when there’s another cool guy comes along, being on point, doing everything correctly at the right time – you’re gone!
So generally speaking, going for the first date should be kind of more on the fast side. Plant the thought in her head that she wants to take you out! And don’t ask her for the date. Suggest it. And more importantly: Don’t end the conversation after you scheduled the date. Keep it going for a bit. This can go a long way.
Until next time,